Communication with Your Lover

My husband and I have been to hell and back.  Well, I would suppose that’s true of most marriages, but hey, that makes it no less real to me.  These days, however, we are learning to embrace the understanding that relationships are for growth, and that love, sex, unity – those are just byproducts of that growth.  (Basically, not putting the cart before the horse).  I’d like to share a bit on what I learned about communication with him with all of you.

He and I had gotten into an argument.  I’ve learned it’s best to keep my cool during arguments, as anger, rage and feelings of victimhood ALWAYS ruin my day. 🙂  After about 2 hours of discussion that got us nowhere, and rather than take his rants personal, I listened with my discernment as to where those rants were coming from.  You see, we all can ONLY come from ourselves.  We are ALWAYS seeing through our own eyes/experiences/judgment.  And what we don’t say/do is just as important as what we do say/do in communication.  My discernment told me clearly that he was speaking from his fear.  I immediately remembered the quote, “We cannot solve our problems with the same consciousness we used when we created them.” –Albert Einstein. 

Light Bulb!  

Now, it’s my impression that fear is always based in logic.  Our argument, because it was based in fear, could NOT be solved with the intellect, the same entity that invites fear to dwell unassumingly, masking itself as a source of viable reasoning.

So I sent him a text message: “I have some healing for you, if you’d like.  I can see where you’re hurting, and if you’d like to work with me, I’m offering myself.  Through sex.  No more talking.  Just let me work on you.  Let me know if you’re willing.”

What do you think he said? 

My point: Sometimes problems need to be un-intellectualized so that they can be eradicated. 

After all, our argument was based on a fear he never named, but my discernment saw very clearly: That I’m really not that into him.  That I can’t see how absolutely extraordinary he is and honor that spark within him.  That he isn’t enough.

On my way home, I picked up some jasmine oil so that we could easily be calmed, and a book on Kalachakra Tantra which spoke about the path of preparing for the blissful union.  I played a Destruction of Negative Energy frequency in our bedroom so as to make a clean sweep of any excuses that lay there prior.  I went over and above the intellect, the ego, and invited a full pouring-out of our natural birthright: Abundance. 

There is no lack. There is nothing to fear. We are enough.

Peace and Love,

Jamila Quin-Ka

My July 2012 cn28 Goals

Relational:

I am so grateful and appreciative that I am open to fully relating and exploring the fullness of Love with my co-Lifers; my veritable Tribe!  I live from my highest self.  I create my story with purpose and wisdom.

 

Financial:

I am ecstatic that I have the discipline and support to manage my finances with wisdom and ingenuity.  I have everything I need for greatness.

Dreams – Thoughts from my KYM Business Class

Dreams don’t come alive until you do.  What’s difficult about truly seeing that barrier is, we all JUST KNOW we’re quite alive – after all, our hearts are beating and there is breath in our lungs – until something hits us upside the head reminding us we’re at the level of survival.  We’ve got ourselves hooked up to all KINDS of machines!

Folks: Let’s get something straight.  When it comes to the heart, there are four main centers: Forgiveness, Will Power, Compassion and Liberation.  Will power is connected to forgiveness and compassion is connected to liberation.  Think about it, IF you are the type that cannot, no, will not forgive those who you feel have done you wrong, then a great amount of will power is being used to hold all that baggage.  Likewise, if you choose to never care that another is oppressed by this or that, then your compassion is being used only on yourself.  (cough-cough).  Sounds like masturbation.  There can be no freedom when you’ve decided everyone else deserves to be in chains.

The judgment it requires to deny someone of something, by law, must also be applied to self.  Our collective psyche can have it no other way.  What I offer to you, I offer to myself first.

My Dream (yes, capital D ;)) has been to heal myself, be authentic about myself, and use my experiences to assist others.  I find it no coincidence when I encounter someone who shares their hurt and pain with me, they’re story is most usually something that I too have experienced as well.  Friends, foes, and strangers alike have all connected with me on that level.  And as I’m coming to Know My Magic, I find it easier to go there with others.  Shame doesn’t have to accompany failure.  Or better yet, PERCEIVED failure.  Although, some say that shame is one of the most powerful motivators.  I can see that through these various encounters, this is how I came to know that All things work toward the good.  All things work to further.  The ancient wisdom wasn’t lying about this one.

Change is imminent.  Why can’t we stop change?  Because everything is ever growing.  The beauty of it is that Nature’s wisdom on growth is infinetisimal compared to most of ours.  She is able to know EXACTLY when, what, where, how and through whom she can grow.  We must listen to her wisdom and learn how to go with her flow.

Until later……. Jamila Quin-Ka

What is a Goddess?

“A goddess is a woman who emerges from deep within herself. She is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned to celebrate her light. She is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities within her. She is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places inside her, the sacred places that can nurture her soul and make her whole. She is a woman who radiates light. She is magnetic. She walks into a room and male and female alike feel her presence. She has power and softness at the same time. She has powerful sexual energy that’s not dependent on physical looks. She has a body that she adores and it shows by the way she comfortably lives and moves in it. She cherishes beauty, light and love. She is a mother to all children. She flows with life in effortless grace. She can heal with a look or a touch of the hand. She is fiercely sensual and fearlessly erotic and engages in sex as her way to share with another in touching the divine. She is compassion and wisdom. She is seeker of Truth and cares deeply about something bigger than herself. She is a woman who knows that her purpose in life is to reach higher and rule with love. She is woman in love with love. She knows that joy is her destiny and by embracing it and sharing it with others, wounds are healed. She is a woman who has come to know that her partner is as tender, lost, and frightened as she has been at times. She has come to understand the scars of the boy in him and knows that together, love can be the relief, the healing of their wounds. She is a woman who can accept herself as she is. She can accept another as they are. She is able to forgive her mistakes and not feel threatened by another’s even when attacked. She is a woman who can ask for help when she needs it or give help when asked. She respects boundaries, hers and another’s. She can see God in another’s eyes. She can see God in her own. She can see God in every life situation. She is a woman who takes responsibility for everything she creates in her life. She is a woman who is totally supportive and giving. She is a Goddess…”-Unknown

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